The Ultimate Punishment
by Danie7
Summary: Two reviews is all it's worth? Okay... Ill write a summary.. Gang fight off Naraku.. and Kagome gives up something very great to win.. told from Inu's pov KagInu SanMir


One Shot  
  
Disclaimer: No, I do not own InuYasha... nor do I claim to (or want to for that matter... do you realize how hard that would be to meet deadlines? For you regulars you know how well I keep up with those ^^;;). And I do not own the song either, I put in with it because it was fitting.  
  
The instant before my heart stopped, I felt tears slide down my cheeks in bliss at finally being released from the pain of living ever since she had gone. Everything that we had done... had only been building up to this point. It was rather ironic that we had traveled so hard and so long to save everyone's life... only to have all of ours taken in their stead. I hadn't the energy to even lift my arms any more and I didn't want to anyway. There was nothing left for me, as she was gone.  
  
I watched demurely as her past form sat up shaking the dust from her body. Her arm was still twisted at an awkward angle, but it would be fine soon enough. It was sad the way the dead could go on living, even as us living had to die for them to be able to do so.  
  
She walked down to where I lay in the ditch that I had created earlier with my attacks during the battle that was so hard won. Her breathing was as ragged as mine had been. I could hear how her ribs ground against each other with each breath, telling of the fractures and breaks she had suffered from what little she had done. She cut off a lock of her hair, laying it down next to me. And I figured in her own way, she really did love me. But I was dead inside... soon to be in body as well.  
  
They say you're supposed to have flash backs right before you die. But I figure it's more like memories that you think on... And mine were all terrible to behold. I couldn't help but think on them and wallow in my own puddle of self-loathing as each of them passed me in sequence.  
  
I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all of my childish fears.  
  
Kouga had come by that day. Jealousy had washed through my body as I watched her laugh with him and joke, as she never did with me. It ate me up till I was fit to bursting. Why would she flirt with him when I was right here? Did she not like me? Did she feel like I was inferior to that wimpy, sniveling, stupid, moronic... wolf. I couldn't help but glare at the scene as it felt better to do so than to actually admit aloud how much this was bothering me. I realize now that I should've gone over to her and hugged her. Maybe told her how much I just wanted to be with her. Or just let it pass me by as her feelings for the wolf paled before what she felt for me, especially before her end... when I was able to see them for myself.  
  
The monk had watched me out of the corner of his eye. Nosy thing was sitting a little apart from me, leaning up against a tree. I knew that if I had said something he would've come over to talk to me... or lecture me, they were both the same thing in his book. Sango was down in the near-by village buying food or whatever so that the humans could live more comfortably. I would've thought I didn't take good care of them if I were an outsider... but since I'm the one who runs around saving them... and/or feeding them stuff that I catch. I think I do a pretty damn good job. But then that's just my opinion and hell what in the fuck do I know?  
  
I sighed as I rolled onto my back trying to block out Kagome's giggles and Kouga's come-ons. But I couldn't do it. My ears would swivel to face them every time I heard some kind of noise. I couldn't help it that my ears did that. I just hated it when they did it when I least wanted to listen.  
  
"-Why don't you come away with me Kagome? Come live with me... Instead of being treated like a fellow dog..." He gave a pause and my anger rose, as I knew he was indicating me. "I would treat you like you should be. You would be my mate." I knew he had his hands on Kagome's waist. I just knew it and knowing it infuriated me even further.  
  
"Oh, Kouga, you are too funny!" She let loose one of those moronic giggles of hers that I swear she saved just to use with Kouga to piss me off faster than anything. But I figure now that was just an act to see if I cared for her or not. And apparently she never knew how deep my feelings ran for her until the day before our doom.  
  
"Kagome, WHAT kind of IDIOT are YOU??" I asked as I leapt up. "Can't you see he's FUCKING SERIOUS??" I couldn't stop the growl that came up to my lips. It passed them even though I tried to stop myself from doing such a dog-like thing; I think it only made it come more fiercely. Kagome paled and I knew I had hurt her feelings and she was going to sit me or start crying. One or the other there was no middle ground with her.  
  
Instead of worrying about what in the world she was going to pick to do next, I screamed at Kouga. "Get your ass away from Kagome. I don't like you being around and if I had my way, you would already be dead."  
  
"Yeah but since you're the bitch, Kagome can tell you what in the hell to do and you jump to do her bidding. Don't you, dog shit?" Kouga taunted.  
  
After that, all I could see was red. I lunged for his throat completely forgetting that I had a perfectly good sword at my hip. I couldn't hear anything, but suddenly found myself face down in the dirt just inches from him and he was standing smugly over me, laughing his ass off. My blood boiled and I growled deep in my throat, putting as much force into it as I possibly could around the grass and rocks in my mouth, trying to fight the impossible and get up to beat him into a bloody mess. This only made Kouga laugh all the harder. I wanted to claw his eyes out more than anything at that moment.  
  
I watched as Kagome shooed Kouga away and smiled and grinned all the while. I was stuck on the ground so I couldn't give Kouga that kick in the ass I so felt he needed. I knew she must have been saying the word over and over again because every time my body started to get feeling back into it, it just went numb again.  
  
The sun was setting and it would be dark soon, but Kagome just stood in front of me. I knew she was saying something, but I couldn't hear her. Didn't she know she had to wait till I wasn't pissed off before she talked? I couldn't hear or understand a word she was saying.  
  
I watched as her red lips moved and moved as words tumbled out. Her blue eyes flared as anger started to radiate out from her as well. Her black hair was mussed with her gestures and wild ramblings at how mad she must be, I figured. When her anger started to finally subside and I could get a grip on my mind again, she burst into tears.  
  
"Kagome... it's your fault for bringing that blasted wolf around. I hate him. You know that. I don't want him around. Dumb ass thing is trying to make you his mate, Kagome, his mate. Does none of that sink into your rotted little head?" I growled in frustration, as all she did was cry more.  
  
She turned and looked at me, and I really wish she wouldn't have. Her eyes were all teary and her nose was red from her wiping it, but she just looked so beautiful. "Do you hate me so much, InuYasha?" She asked me quietly.  
  
I don't know how it happened or who moved first but suddenly I was licking the tears from her eyes. For some reason she started sobbing quietly but the flow of tears never stopped. I looked into her eyes and stopped. "InuYasha..." She sighed my name and I kissed her lips before I laid her back in the grass.  
  
Suddenly aware of what she was doing, Kagome sat up and bashed her head into mine. Gripping her head, she scooted away from me. I sat back on my heels and watched her silently as she rolled onto her free hand and knees, pushing to her feet. "Inu Yasha I'm sorry... but I just can't. I'm not that kind of woman."  
  
"Kagome..." was all I said as I stood to my feet and turned to walk away. I heard her catching sob and then her feet pounding the floor as she ran away from me. Its now, so far away from that time that I understand that it was due to her customs in her time that she would be considered a whore or worse for laying down with me that night. It's a small wonder how the things you need to know come to realization so late in time.  
  
And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave.  
  
Inky blackness swirled around me as I stood up. I couldn't see my hands in front of my face. Flames leapt up my legs illuminating my naked body. I felt nothing as I watched them curl around my body and lick at my fingers and chest. Turning around, I saw that Kikyou was trying to run to get to me. Her hands were outstretched, but instead of feeling the so- called love or longing that I was so used to feeling upon seeing her anywhere... I felt empty... nothing but a burning emptiness.  
  
As usual she drew back her bow and fired off an arrow. It pierced my skin and even though I felt nothing for her I screamed at her to get a hold on herself and come to her senses. The bark bit into my back and I screamed and screamed.  
  
Kagome was above me shaking my body. "InuYasha?" I growled and leapt up. No one should be able to know my nightmares. No one.  
  
Cause your presence still lingers here  
And it wont leave me alone.  
  
Kagome didn't touch me or move closer to me. She just sat there looking at me. And because of that fact I stayed still. I didn't move away, nor did I move closer. Slowly and quietly, her hand rose and gestured for me to sit down next to her. She kept her eyes on mine and waited until I moved to sit down. Her arms wrapped around me and lay me down next to her. "Go back to sleep. Stuff always looks better in the morning." I wondered briefly then, when had she come out into the dark to sit near me while I slept. But I know that it didn't matter then, nor does it matter now. The fact was that she had come, and that meant the world to me.  
  
Her words seemed to chase away the memories and I didn't want her to let go of me. I closed my eyes and drifted off once again, only no more nightmares assailed me for the rest of the night. Thinking on it now, after she had assuaged me of the night fears and replaced Kikyou in my heart, I never did think on her when she was out of sight... kind of like that old saying "out of sight, out of mind".  
  
Day after day passed, demon after demon came, and we fought them all off. I didn't worry over anything because she was by my side... for that little stretch of time at least.  
  
Kaeda's village, what I had come to think of as "home" had been under attack by a huge demon. It's muscles rippled under its thin, flimsy skin. Its body shape was reminiscent of an ape's, but not nearly as interesting to look at, yet at the same time it seemed to captivate and enthrall me. The face was disfigured and hard to look at. The eyes were a wild red and seemed to glow with an unnatural light. Well that's a little redundant; anything from Hell will shine with an unnatural light.  
  
Sometime in the course of fighting the demon, I had brought out my sword to attack it, and it had knocked it out of my hands. Then had gone straight for Kagome. Wrong move... like when I was consumed with jealousy, I saw nothing but red. But the difference was, this time nothing anyone could say or do would make me stop before I had scattered every last bit of that demon across the floor. My claws seemed to scrape right through it. There was nothing that stopped me from tearing its bones apart. It's hideous screams did nothing but encourage me to go faster and harder.  
  
After it was slaughtered, I looked to Kagome. Her eyes seemed scared for some reason. I couldn't fathom what must be wrong with her. I had killed the threat. Was that not enough? Did she believe it would come back to life to kill her? Because I felt that she was my mate I had the irrepressible urge to assuage her fears.  
  
Going to her, I knelt in front of her and raised my claws to her cheek, showing her the blood that was so obviously from the eviscerated carcass behind me. She shuddered before I touched her, and for some reason the smell of fear got stronger. It aggravated me that I had just shown her that it was all right, yet she was still scared so I took her into my arms. She tried to pull from my arms, but she must obey me, as I am her mate. I growled in my throat to warn her not to try to leave my embrace.  
  
Sango came up to me, and held out the Tetsuiaga. Her eyes regarded me from under her red shaded eyelids, as if I were something in a jar, and it aggravated me but I said nothing. My hands were full with Kagome, so I didn't want the sword. At least Kagome had stopped struggling from me. It had puzzled me at the time, but I understand now. After I had looked at Kagome, I felt something slip into my hand and saw my sword before I fell back, away from my mate.  
  
These wounds wont seem to heal  
This pain is just too real.  
  
Shippo hadn't been around a few days. If I had gone to look for him earlier... who knows, maybe I would've been there in time. As it was, I had been too late. If I had been able to look down the road at what would happen in the future, I would've been relieved more than aggrieved at his death. His death was more of a mercy killing rather than what I had had to witness happen to the rest of my pack. It still aggrieves me to think of it now.  
  
His little throat was slit; his face was peaceful, obviously not knowing that his end was right there. There were berries in his hands, obviously pilfered from Kaeda's stash and evidence that he had gotten at least half of what he had stolen to his mouth by the red juice smeared over his lips.  
  
His assailant had obviously been in contact with Naraku as the scent of the man was faint, but everywhere. Kagome, as I had figured she would, burst into tears. I know that she needed to cry or hit something because in essence, no matter how much I had resented it, Shippo had been like her very own child. My heart was torn, I had wanted to sit down and cry myself, but I needed to be strong for the rest of my pack. Miroku had gone pale and Sango's lips had tensed. And with how much Kagome was crying; she left no room for us to shed tears ourselves.  
  
I took up the kit and buried him under my tree in Kaeda's village. It had taken a little over a day to get back to the village and by then the child looked more like a dead person should rather than like he was just sleeping... with a gaping hole in his neck. Kagome couldn't look at him the entire time we were walking back, and I didn't want to let the others carry him, as it had been my responsibility and I had failed. So I carried him. When we got back, they had left straight for Kaeda's hut and I had been left to burry him alone. With Kagome gone, along with Sango and Miroku, it was the time for me to be able to grieve. My chest constricted and I felt like I couldn't breathe but I didn't allow myself to cry.  
  
When he was buried, I laid down next to his grave and went to sleep. For some reason it felt right, I didn't get up when I felt the others come around, I didn't move when they moved off into the forest. Kagome stayed in the hut, but Sango and Miroku went into the woods by themselves. They didn't come back until hours later, smelling of each other and tears. I knew what they had done and it disgusted me, but I said nothing. Humans, on the whole, are disgusting. That fact hasn't changed during the time I've been alive, nor was it any different when humans first came to walk the earth before me.  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase.  
When you cried Id wipe away all of your tears  
  
The next day, instead of speaking everyone was... well, excuse the term, dead silent. There was nothing anyone said or did that did not speak of grief. Maybe that was his plan all along? To have Death distract us with the loss of our beloved, then kill us all off slowly... one... by... one. I don't know now, nor do I ever want to find out. But whatever his plan, it worked well enough.  
  
Kagome silently cooked dinner, a rabbit that I had caught. Sango had skinned it and Miroku had already seasoned the meat. Kagome was the one who put it on the spit and roasted it. Without the whiney little fox child, things were very stressful and quiet. No one wanted to say anything aloud for fear that they would be looked at by another in the group and get a face full of the horrific stare that spoke of pain and torment.  
  
When Kouga came along and smelled Kagome, finally realizing that I had claimed her to an extent, he challenged me to a duel for her. I declined. The way I saw things then, was if she wanted the wolf more than me, I had already been abandoned in my youth and it shouldn't hurt any worse than that. If she wanted to leave now, it would make it much easier on me to get all of my grief in one lump sum and be done with it sooner.  
  
But she just looked at Kouga and shook her head. "I'm sorry Kouga, but I can't be with you. I know InuYasha doesn't look like he does much for me, but you're not around all the time to know that for sure. And you may think you 'love' me, but I can say that you would regret having me as a mate before too long. So in the general wish of making sure no one's hurt I think it would be best if you left." If it weren't put towards the wolf in favor of me I might have laughed at the professional manner in which she basically told him to go fuck himself.  
  
If I had been in my normal mind, I would've been so proud of her to tell him so effectively that she was mine and mine alone. But I wasn't. It only made me feel worse because one day I would loose her as well, I knew that then, and I know the pain of that now.  
  
When you'd scream Id fight away all of your fears  
I held your hand for all of these years but you still hide from me.  
  
Kouga, enraged at having been refused permanently this time, gripped Kagome roughly by the arm and tried to run away with her in tow. Growling, I stood up and decked him. That's when I saw all the puppets in the trees. There were so many of them. White baboons all tucked up in the trees to where if you laid down all you saw was white. They must've come when Kagome was telling Kouga off. My temper quickly rose, pushing down any other feeling I contained, and as my temper came, so did my claws. Ripping my claws through the air, I tried to take out Kouga's throat quickly so I could get on with the puppets, but as usual Kagome stopped me, this time with a scream however.  
  
Half of the puppets had dropped down from the trees. Miroku had lifted up his bead-covered hand with the intention of sucking them all in, only to find that the wasps were there. Sango's boomerang swung around to take out some of them, only to have them all build themselves up when it was on the way back and catch it in the pelts. Well that about rendered me helpless, as Kagome's backpack was on the other side of them, which meant that her bow was there and I was the only one with a weapon.  
  
Leaping off the wolf, I drew my sword with every intention of killing them all, only to have the ground rush to my face, and the world go dark. Kagome's screams were the last thing I heard for quite a while.  
  
The deep resonant voice was the first thing to come to me when I started to wake up. "So InuYasha..." I opened up my eyes only to greet coal black ones. My nose wrinkled up, as he smelled dead, like he had died years and years ago, just hadn't been rotting. Just like Kikyou, I had thought, sucking out demons' souls instead of humans' to go on living. The only difference between those two would be he absorbed the body of the demon into his own, whereas Kikyou liked herself as she came.  
  
His black curling hair fell in my face as he shifted to get more above me. I glowered at him and tried to swing my arms. But as I had figured they should be, they were shackled with something other than metal and I could only jerk to the boundary. He laughed at my efforts. "Did you think I would be so stupid as to be this close to you with no restraints?"  
  
"Kouga brought you to us, didn't he? That little shit." I snarled and butted my head against his. Naraku flew off of my lap and hit the floor between my legs a chuckle floating back to me after the thud.  
  
"No, no, my little barbarian. Look behind you." In that instant my heart froze. I knew Kouga would be strung up dead behind me. That would be where the death smell came from, not the monster in front of me. I was convinced. Instead of showing Naraku that he had just scared me, I turned my head to face the horror full on. I was grateful and angered at the same time. Kouga's armor had been stripped from him. His arms were bloodied, as were his legs. His limbs were torn just where the shards had been.  
  
"You catch on quickly, don't you?" Naraku asked but I ignored him. Kouga's eyes were full of pain as he walked to Naraku to hand him his dinner. With a flick of his wrist, Naraku made Kouga fly through the air to hit the wall behind him. I was proud of the wolf for not giving even a sound of anguish as he slumped to the floor. I knew it had to hurt him terribly so, but his willpower was greater than that of the pain he had to have felt.  
  
I said nothing but my mind was whirling with thoughts of escape. Did I have that same curse on me? He did take my Tetsuiaga, would I be able to change into a full demon here? Would I be able to get everyone out if I did? I would've rather bitten off my tongue than ask him anything, but I had to know. "Where's Kagome?" I spat quickly.  
  
"You want to see her then?" Naraku grinned and crooked his finger. I winced, fully expecting to take a dive at the wall. Instead, I just kind of floated to my feet. I followed after him a few inches above the ground. My arms were seemingly pinned above my head, and my legs were stiff as a board and stuck together. He brought me down a long corridor. It seemed that no matter where you went in this castle, it was dark and dank smelling of vermin and blood.  
  
When we reached where Kagome was being held, I wanted to go away and stay at the same time. I felt the incomprehensible urge to drop to my knees and beg her forgiveness for not being able to keep her safe, or just fall down dead as perfect retribution for yet another failing of mine to her. That would've sufficed for what she must've been through, once I realized that she had been through something.  
  
At first, I had thought that Naraku had dressed her in a new outfit. A brownish-red color, long sleeved like her other shirt had been but the skirt on this looked a bit old and worn. After looking at it for a few seconds, I came to realize it was her blood that had stained the outfit and that it was her regular school uniform. "I'll just leave you here, so you can be with her in her dying moments." Naraku chuckled all the way out. And with every step further he was from me, my bonds loosened, until I hit the ground next to Kagome.  
  
As soon as I was free, I crawled to her side. Her face was pallid, but her eyes recognized me. I would've given anything, done anything, to keep her from showing me that hero worship, like she thought that just because I had come to her side that everything would be okay. I knew I couldn't do much without help, but apparently she expected me to work miracles. "I-inu..." was all she could say through her cracked, parched lips.  
  
And I was all at once awed by the sheer obstinacy of humans. They clung to life even if there was mere a thread of a chance that they would survive.  
  
I ran my hand through her hair. "Kagome... Shhh don't talk... I have to fix this okay?" She nodded and I cursed myself inwardly for even acting like I could 'fix' this monstrosity of a problem.  
  
Sitting up, I looked around. The walls were made out of wood but I would put money down that they were sealed with some kind of magic to keep us in. I noticed that the roof would rattle, shaking down dust every so often. "Can you move?" She nodded. "Do you know if Sango or Miroku are safe? They're not in here are they?"  
  
"They're not. They both ran when you were captured but I stayed. I think they had a plan for rescuing us." She gave another weak smile.  
  
"Kagome," I wanted to scold her for not running with them but I could save that for later when times were better and she didn't look like she was a talking corpse. "I'm betting that the walls are sealed..." She nodded already knowing that. "But I think the ceiling isn't. Crawl onto my back and we'll see if I'm not strong enough to go out that way to find Sango and Miroku."  
  
"What about your sword?" Kagome asked as she slowly rolled over to reveal that the back of her shirt was in tatters. She winced and he moved to her side to make it easier.  
  
"It can be left for now, don't worry about such trivial things. Besides he will bring it to me when we come back to battle. Remember that I am the only one who can wield it Kagome." I assured her. Reaching back, I grasped her hand and gently tugged her to her knees. I could hear every slight gasp of pain she gave as she gingerly caught hold and stayed there. I felt so proud of her, that she hadn't complained or anything about how badly wounded she was, and I promised myself that as soon as I got half a chance I would treat her to something special.  
  
You used to captivate me by your resonating mind Now I'm bound by the life you've left behind  
  
My memories stopped for a few moments as I gasped in pain. My heart seizured in my chest before it gave it's last sputter and stopped. I couldn't fathom why I was still able to think while my heart had stopped, but I was doing it. Then I saw in a filmy haze that Sesshomaru was standing over me. (A/N: It is possible to still be "alive" even when you're heart has stopped. You are not truly dead until your brain dies remember that... and his is still very active.) His hand was on the hilt of his sword and his eyes were searching mine for an answer.  
  
In that instant my mind was made up. I would live and see her again. I just had to. His sword swung above my head and I heard minute screams of pain before my heart started beating with a ferocity that I had never recalled before in my life. "Hello, brother." He said to me. His tone was some how mocking and I found that to be very irritating, but I said nothing, as I was grateful for a chance to survive. His silver hair resembled mine in its color and length, but that was where the resemblances ended. The livid purple streaks down his cheeks made him a full demon, much different from my half-breed state. His clothes were torn and bloodied, but his arm was back and apparently whole.  
  
All of these miracles were due to Kagome's sacrifice. Now that I was well and whole again... I sat up and moved cautiously towards where she lay. I looked behind me only to see a tiny hand break free from the ground and dirty brownish-red hair sprout out from the mud and clay. I felt the tears I had always wanted to shed pour down my face, pushing their way over the dirt and mud, leaving clean, pale skin in their wake. Sango sat up from her awkward position on the ground. Tearing her shirt open, I watched in a perverse fascination as her wounds sealed up like they were being sewn together by invisible thread. Her hand reached down and touched the outer edge of her wound caused by Naraku's miasma.  
  
The hole where Naraku had made Miroku's hand act prematurely and swallow him up soon showed a whole hand... without the prayer beads and armband. A white-faced Miroku showed himself as he crawled toward Sango. I ignored them as I walked to the hill where the blast had come from. Her body was encased in the glowing purple of the Shikon no Tama. "Kagome..." I whispered as I knelt near her. I felt what little bit of my heart I had left, seep out of my eyes and drip down onto her. I couldn't do much more than crawl forward to touch the gigantic jewel, which held all I cared dearly for anymore.  
  
As soon as my fingers touched the glassy surface, it disappeared and her eyes opened. Her mouth formed a kind of 'O' for a silent scream that was never heard by anyone. I stroked her face in the last moments that I saw her. Her soul poured out of her body and I watched as the blue flame flew into the forest by the way Kikyou had left. I prayed that I was wrong, that her innocent soul was not trapped inside the dead sinful miko, who would obviously be alive now, I figured, if Kagome had just reunited with her.  
  
Her body slowly dissipated into the jewel. I wanted to throw it away from me, but I didn't, as it was the last thing I had left of Kagome. Her bag had been destroyed in one of the many battles and her books had been left at home. The thing didn't even glow with that ethereal light that it did when Kagome handled it. I was so severely disappointed that I just wanted to shriek or scream my frustration... but I knew that would accomplish nothing. "You'll be able to see her again... You just have to dedicate yourself to wait the time for her to be born again." The silky smooth yet cold voice of my brother came from behind, startling me out of my reverie.  
  
I turned my eyes up to him and he winced as if I had hit him or something. Not that he would've winced or anything if I had hit him, but it was odd to see. I turned away and stood up holding what was left of Kagome in my hands. Five hundred years would be a long time to wait... but if she were at the end of it I would wait millenniums for her.  
  
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me.  
  
500 Years Later...  
  
I looked at Rin as she lay across from me. I ran my hand through her brown hair and smoothed it back down. Her childish features had never changed in all these many years, nor had my face altered in any way. I cursed that Tessuiaga every day of my life, and wondered fleetingly if Rin did the same as well.  
  
I glanced at Sesshomaru who slept on a bed opposite us. Rin slept on as I shifted on the bed and looked at my aging brother. He looked more like he was in his forties... which was more of an elegant age in this time. That is if I were to put him on a human aging scale. I still looked like I was seventeen or so, in human years. I had been watching Kagome grow year after year since she was born. I had enrolled in school the year before she was to go into the high school so that I could be in the same grade as Hojo but fix it to where it was I she came back for and not him.  
  
Rin alternated between sleeping partners when she felt like it. I had read the book Interview with a Vampire by Anne Rice and she reminded me most eerily of Claudia. Except that she never resented looking like a child for we never treated her as such, no matter that every other person that had seen her did. She was aged most thoroughly beyond her years and I would be damned if she didn't act like it. If death had been allowed to take its toll she would've been long dead and but a memory in Sesshomaru's heart as he was the only one who would've seen her before her death. Jaken had died years ago and that surprised me as I figured that Sesshomaru was older than the toad... but then mayhap the sword he carried had special powers over the user as well. Hell what do I know about my brother's junk?  
  
I figured I should go ahead and get up as the sun was out about the time it should be for me to get ready for school. Running through the shower I put on the gay little uniform that the students had to wear and ran to the school. Rin was running right behind me and I stopped to wait on her to catch up. "You forgot your lunch, stupid." She said good naturedly, as she handed it to me.  
  
"Why don't you ever want to go to school, Rin?" I asked as I sped up.  
  
Her eyes clouded up and she shot a glance back home. "I just don't feel the need to mingle with the little kids... after all... would I fit in with them?" She asked as she darted her eyes back to mine. "Anyway I'm not the one obsessed with a broad that was reincarnated not even a few years ago."  
  
"Hell, Rin, she was reincarnated thirteen years ago and if you went to school you could learn to count better, if I can learn, you sure can." I stopped. "I'll see you when I get home okay?" I gave her a gruff kiss on the cheek and my feet pounded out their morning rhythm on the pavement once again. I could feel the jewel clink against my rib cage... the cursed thing that carried my love's soul. I had realized soon after she was born that it would burn my skin when she was near. Her powers were unbelievable. I wondered if her chunk of the jewel glowed or showed some sign of recognition when I was around?  
  
These wounds wont seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
  
As soon as the thought formed in my mind, I collided with a soft, warm body... and the jewel on my chest burnt another goddamned hole in my chest. 'Kagome...' My thoughts instantly turned to mush in my head. I had nothing, absolutely nothing, intelligent to say. "Why did you run into me?" I asked and then cursed myself for sounding like a jerk.  
  
"You ran into me, thank you." She said stiffly, as she eyed me. I sat up and shoved her breakfast of pop tarts and an apple under her nose. When she took them slowly from me I stood up and darted away like the devil was riding my ass.  
  
My face had stopped burning once I reached the school grounds. I felt a hand clap down on my shoulder. "Rei, are you alright man?" I ran my hand through my hair. I had dyed it years ago to a nice jet-black and kept it that way. My ears were buried under a cap as usual. I left my eyes the same for Kagome to figure out who I was, and am, once she started going to the past. Don't get me wrong, I loved her with all my heart, I just couldn't see myself telling her anything about myself. I would probably die before I told her anything about what would happen to her or what had happened to her if you were to get technical that is.  
  
I turned my gaze on Hojo; as usual he jumped like everyone else at seeing my eyes. No matter how long someone had known me they always seemed to find my eyes odd to look at directly. I sighed and shoved past him. "Get to class. I'm sure we're late as usual and I don't fell like being bitched at." I knew he had flinched at my words as well. Goodie-two-shoes would never say such a vulgar word in his entire God-loving life. I wanted to just kick his ass out the door and be done with it.  
  
I could smell her. Kagome was coming up behind me. "Rei!!" She called to me. I turned slightly acknowledging that I had heard her, but not to face her as manners dictated. "You dropped your bag when you dashed off." She said quietly as she held it out. I stared at it stupidly before she frowned. "I have no need for it. Are you going to take it?" Shaking my head I snagged it from her fingers and moved down to my locker. Rolling the dial back and forth hitting all the right numbers for my combo, I took deep calming breaths to cool my skin and slow my heart to a more normal pace.  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase When you cried Id wipe away all of your tears  
  
Technically, I had only met her, but I had loved her for longer than she had been alive, and it only made it worse that I knew that I'd have to wait until she knew me again. I shook my head to rid myself of the stupid thoughts filtering through my brain, when she stepped near me. "Hey, what class do you have first block?"  
  
I know I must've stared at her like she had just announced she was an alien, but I couldn't help it. "Uh..." I took out my schedule. "World History..."  
  
"With?" She continued on. I just wanted to run even though it was such an easy question.  
  
I looked stupidly at the paper again. My anger at my idiocy made me snap at her. "Mr. Bryton... why?"  
  
She frowned at me. "Oh then you have it with me. I'll see you in first then." She grinned obviously dismissing my behavior before walking off down the hallway. I smirked as I turned back to my locker and shoved my lunch in the top shelf. Closing the door, I felt Hojo staring at me.  
  
"What? Am I an animal in a zoo today? Geez, don't you have someone else to bother?" I snapped.  
  
"Rei, calm down. Let's go to home base together." He grinned at me and it aggravated me somewhat but I said nothing. Following him down the hall, I felt people looking at me as I went and I just wanted to scream at the scrutiny I was getting but I didn't.  
  
I figure I'm what people would call "popular" but I wouldn't put any money on that. Because for as many girls that find me attractive and good- looking, there are just as many boys who find me annoying and crass. I didn't really care so much as I just noticed so that I would know where I stood in line to get to Kagome. I was so surprised when I found out she wasn't in the more popular crowd, but then it made me happy because then I wouldn't have to really fight anyone for her. But then I had remembered a few years before I had entered into here that Hojo had wanted her. So then I would have to fight someone but then it's not as if he ever smelled strong, manly or, heaven forgive me for the blasphemy, tough. It had always irked me to smell him on her when she came back from her time, which was now my time I thought, but I was uncannily grateful now that I knew he wasn't.  
  
"Rei, are you listening to me?" I nodded even though I knew he knew I hadn't been. "Well as I was saying..." He twisted his fingers together in front of him just like a sissy would. I wondered why I had made "friends" with him but brushed it aside when he opened his mouth again. "I want to ask Kagome to the school dance."  
  
"You... WHAT??" I bellowed. All of a sudden he was gasping and there was a large crowd around us screaming at the top of their lungs. "FIGHT! FIGHT!" I looked down and saw that my hand was around his throat and dropped him like he was burning me. "Listen... Hojo, I'm sorry I didn't mean to go off on you like that." I felt my eyes go wide at the shock of what my temper had just made me do.  
  
"Rei..." He took another gulp of air. "If you really liked her you should've said something not choked the shit out of me." He coughed again before the short rotund teacher shoved her way through the crowd.  
  
"Hojo! Rei! What is the meaning of this??" She squawked at the top of her lungs. I felt my ears cringe on top of my head.  
  
"Oh it's nothing, Mrs. Hawthorn. We just had a slight misunderstanding but it's fine now." Hojo said.  
  
"But Rei was choking you, Hojo. Did he put you up to this? You can tell me you know." She whispered to him. But I could hear anyway.  
  
"No Rei didn't put me up to anything. As I said it was just a misunderstanding no one got hurt it's alright." Hojo said again as he brushed himself off when he got up. When the woman still didn't move away he shooed her with his hands. "Really Mrs. Hawthorn, I'm fine okay? You're keeping me from going to class." She shot a glare at me then shuffled off down the hallway.  
  
"Hojo, I'm really sorry... I really didn't mean to do it, man." I said as I stared at my feet. The crowd had dissipated a few moments after the teacher appeared not wanting to get caught encouraging something bad.  
  
"Eh, its alright. But you have to ask Kagome out to the dance to pay me back for what you just did." Hojo grinned and nudged me with his elbow. I really didn't want to wonder what he was up to, but I couldn't help it. Not even five minutes before, he had wanted to ask Kagome out now he didn't.  
  
"What?" I frowned at him. "I thought you wanted to take her."  
  
Hojo gave a fearful glance at my hands and shook his head vigorously. I sighed and wished I hadn't flown off the handle at him. "Alright." I said and sealed my doom.  
  
When you'd scream Id fight away all of your fears ' I held your hand through all of these years but you still hide from me  
  
I came home that night to have Rin laughing her ass off at my story of woe. "Well I had figured there would have to be something that would force you to ask her or you'd never do it yourself." Her eyes were full of merriment. Sesshomaru sat at the head of the table with a smirk on his face. "I think Rin and I might even volunteer to chaperone this dance should you get to go Inu Yasha."  
  
I glared my frustration at them. "Can you not be sympathetic?" I sighed.  
  
"Eh, she'll go with you there's no worries about that, so quit whining like a girl, its not you." Rin said as she picked up her plate and brought it to the sink. "Besides, if you need help, all you have to do is ask for it."  
  
I knew she was smirking at me while her back was turned. But I figured I'd do her one up. "Okay... I need help then."  
  
The plate hit the bottom of the sink with a crack. Oh score one for me. "I can help as well, I would imagine." Came my brother's soft chilly voice. "After all we are family." He smiled at me and I wanted to crawl into a hole.  
  
"Well... if you're going to help... how do we go about this?" I sighed not wanting to get help with anything, let alone my love life. I had dreamed about it and dreamed about it but now that it was here... there was no way I could go through with some of the plans that I had wanted to since she had died and I had started thinking of the future.  
  
"It would help if you were friends with her first. But knowing you, you probably pissed her off right off the bat didn't you?"  
  
I remembered running into her and then barking off answers to her as if I were being drilled. That hadn't gone too well, but I wouldn't say I had pissed her off. "No I didn't thank you... my manners have improved." I crossed my arms, in a gesture that had become a habit that I could not break.  
  
"No they haven't." Rin said just as soon as she saw my arms move. She looked toward Sesshomaru. "I think the kid should go to bed... after all there is school tomorrow isn't there?"  
  
I glowered at her. "Yes there is school tomorrow but since when have you had the right to tell me when I can go to bed."  
  
"Since now." Said my brother and he stood up and ushered me out the door and up the stairs to my room. I figured they had something planned... something I wouldn't like.  
  
I tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone But though you're still with me I've been alone all along!  
  
My dreams at night consisted of that last day... so often were the infused with stuff that dreams make, that I found it hard to distinguish between the reality and the make-believe. After we had escaped from Naraku's castle, there wasn't much else we could do besides find Sango and Miroku. They weren't far from the castle, themselves. Wanting to help us, they were pretty near with an a few humans from the village to help them get over the walls undetected. But once you were inside the court in Naraku's castle... there wasn't much that you could do about keeping yourself hidden and even if you tried he would know anyhow. So there was really no point in disguising yourself.  
  
Kagome was a shocker to look at for either one of them. I watched as they flinched and was grateful to an extent that she had passed out from the pain as she bled on my back. "We need to get her to Kaeda's." I said stiffly. The villagers were muttering amongst themselves, superstitious things that they are about bad omens because of Lady Kagome being injured. I barked at them like a dog demon should and the jumped, startled at being caught. "Get a move on, Lady Kagome is injured and it's of the utmost importance we get her to where she needs to be." The villagers nodded in a stiff and crisp manner as if they had just been told they were to be escorting a holy woman... that I figured mayhap that was how they thought of her. But knowing Kagome there was no way I could figure her to be a holy person. Her personality reeked of nothing but playfulness or excitement. I knew Kikyou had to be a holy woman by her starchy personality... but I had loved her for that anyway. There was just something attractive about her. Maybe it had been her sadness that seemed to reflect mine? Ah well... doesn't matter because she died a matter of minutes later after receiving Kagome's soul. I can still remember watching her pitch herself off the cliff and the sickening thud of her hitting the rocks below. She had said something about not standing in the way of time now that it actually affected her. I liked to imagine that before she leapt that her eyes weren't as tormented as they had been... but that's just a personal preference, as I knew she had been just as tormented then if not more so than she was before. But, ah me, I'm getting off track.  
  
When we got to Kaeda's, after walking carefully so as not to jostle her too much, the old hag had me cut off her clothing, as by my own decree no one was allowed to touch her save me when she was injured. It would have been wrong and I would've cut off whosever's limbs that touched her. Her skin under her shirt was scarred and done over with traces of symbols and Naraku's name. White-hot burning rage poured through my body at seeing the mutilation he had put upon her skin. "I'll kill him." I said calmly as I went about cutting the rest of her clothes with my claws gently so as to not hurt her. Her whole body was covered in welts, bruises, and gashes.  
  
"She has lost a lot of blood." Kaeda informed us unnecessarily. We could all see she was pale, as her shirt used to be before it was bloodstained and nauseatingly dirty. No one save me could sleep in the hut. The herbs Kaeda burned were too strong for the human's noses, and even though the smell was multiplied by ten for me, Kagome was more important than some stupid smell. That would be the last night I had with her. This would be the last and only night I remembered with some kind of happiness attached to it even through the enveloping pain and anger.  
  
Ever so often, her eyes would flutter open and then wince closed due to the extraordinary amount of pain she was put under. I had never prayed to any deity before in my life but I found myself offering up any kind of promise I could make to whatever god would listen. When the moon was fully overhead her eyes opened and stayed that way. "Inu Yasha?" She said, her voice hoarse and raw.  
  
I touched her hand and she looked at me. Bringing her other hand around she touched my face and I could feel her. Not her as in her body... but her as in... herself, her innermost powers. That was the first hint to me that I was really in love with her, not halfway but to the point where I knew if she were to die my soul would go with her. My heart constricted in my chest as she feebly pulled on my hair to draw my face down to hers. I smiled and laughed half-heartedly and she seemed to enjoy my attentions.  
  
"Inu Yasha, I love you." She told me and kissed me. I had never felt the need to cry so badly in my life as in that moment. I knew that if she were normal she wouldn't have lived out the night this long. I wanted to help her in any way I possibly could. I was half tempted to offer up my soul to be hers for all eternity but she would've turned me down. She wouldn't have wanted to take it from me because there was every chance, in her head, that I would hook up with Kikyou after she was gone. Which if she knew anything about demon's rules... it would've been impossible for me to do so. But in any case, she loved me in that moment and up until her death, which meant the world to me, but not enough for her.  
  
I stroked her face gently, mindful of all her hurts and problems, humming lightly to her. She fell asleep soon enough to one of my mother's old nursery rhymes. All during the night I hummed to her, and all the next morning. The others gave us our privacy and didn't enter the hut whatsoever. I could hear them outside talking of all our adventures like we were already dead, and I guess from their viewpoint, we were to face Naraku, who had deceived us all already, and we were hardly what you would call 'professional', which would look like certain death and indeed it was, or would have been complete if it were not for my brother.  
  
That afternoon, Kaeda came in with a special herb. I hadn't ever seen it before, nor smelled it in my entire life, hence why I didn't kill Kaeda for giving it to her. Kagome made a miraculous recovery just in time for us to be attacked by Naraku. The puppets descended on the village crushing the homes into mush, with Naraku in the center absorbing up all the humans that raced out of their now inhospitable huts.  
  
Kagome ran to get Kaeda's bow and some arrows and valiantly fought with what little she could do while we prepared for the battle. Sango was the first to go with her boomerang at the ready. She did some destruction but that only brought about more puppets, by cutting off the tentacles that Naraku threw out. Miroku was most literally useless. His wind tunnel was jack with the hell wasps out and we had long since understood that even on a good day his wards were a joke compared to Naraku.  
  
My sword cleaved through the flesh of the monsters that were set before me. It seemed to go on for all eternity until we were all covered in flesh and blood of Naraku. Kagome had long since ran out of her arrows and was frantically searching for more. I turned to look at her when she fired of one after the other, when I began to see them curving back towards her when they got close enough to Naraku. I watched in horror as they did a complete turn about and rushed back to her entering her from the front and getting lodged in her chest. Blood spattered on the ground by her feet as she sank to her knees. I could see the light of the Jewel from under her shirt flare brightly as her head jerked back and her soul was illuminated all throughout her body.  
  
Tears poured down her cheeks and her mouth moved in a chant as she stayed kneeling backwards as if there were something supporting her from behind. The jewel became blindingly bright and I felt all my energy ebb out of my body with each flash of the light. I felt Naraku's tentacles wrap themselves around my throat and try to drag me into him, but the light kept him from doing that as it destroyed his power bit by bit. I felt the burning of the light down to the marrow of my bones.  
  
A blood curdling scream ripped through the air, speaking of pain beyond bearing, the loss of what was once within reach, and the life that was forever removed from before the feet. That was when the power jerked free of my body and left me floating in a miasma of pain and over exertion. I watched, helplessly, as Kagome's body floated downwards towards Earth once again. Her body glowing with the unnatural light of the Shikon jewel, slowly becoming encased in it as she came down. As her body descended the land blew away from her leaving a massive crater.  
  
"Inu Yasha... I... did it..." And then there was silence from her, forever more and yet she was destined to speak again. I had wronged her, by not protecting her, and this was my punishment...  
  
When you cried Id wipe away all of your tears When you'd scream Id fight away all of your fears  
  
I held your hand through all of these years but you still hide from me  
  
Author's Note: If you guy's behave yourselves and you don't bitch.. I might just go and tell you how Kagome and Inu Yasha hook up in the future ^^;; ja ne for now.. 


End file.
